3 Boundaries I’m Setting For Self-Care

My dear friends, As you all know, we commonly converse here on the blog about the topic of self-care, and some of the most effective practices we can incorporate into our lives to help us feel more grounded, centered, and at peace. One of my absolute favorite practices of real self-care is setting healthy, aligned boundaries. For so many of us, the concept of boundary setting is still a tough one to grasp. It is commonly engrained in us to spend our energy solely caring for the people around us, and that is is selfish to place that care back upon ourselves. It’s crucial that we begin to chip away at those beliefs and mistruths, because as we know, when we care for ourselves we are able to show up and care for others in a much more meaningful, impactful way. It’s also important to remember that setting boundaries is not an act of punishment or something to be viewed negatively. Setting boundaries is the most loving act we can do for ourselves, and for our relationships. Because I know so many of us struggle to even know where to start in setting boundaries, this week I wanted to share with you three simple, meaningful boundaries that I have been relying on lately that have served me well in my own journey of self-love and self-care. As always, use these suggestions as a guide map towards discovering boundaries that help you feel empowered and cared for, from the inside out. Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all act, and our needs, wishes, and desires are unique to all of us. Take these boundaries and mold them to suit your life and your needs. Saying ‘no’ to anything that feels overwhelming, draining, or not in my own best interest. As a recovering people pleaser, I am used to constantly saying ‘yes’ to every invitation or collaboration. While constantly saying ‘yes’ may seem like the kindest answer, if you really mean to say ‘no’ you will start to breed resentment, anger, and regret for the commitments you have made. You are not obligated to say yes to things that aren’t in your best interest and are not a good use of your precious energy and time. Give yourself the permission to say no. Give yourself time and space to respond and react. I’ve found that there is so much power that comes with pause and reflection. It has commonly been a habit of mine to knee-jerk react and respond quickly to situations and circumstances. This often led to saying things that were out of alignment, or again committing myself to things that weren’t in my best interest. Now, when faced with decisions and invitations, I force myself to take a pause, even if I don’t find it to be truly necessary. I remind myself that I don’t always need to be immediately responsive to the outside world, and I remind myself that, when I take space to connect, I can find the most aligned answers. Allow yourself the time and space to do the things that bring you the most joy. I used to feel guilty for taking time for myself and doing the things that revive and restore me. I know now,  that I, too, am worthy of my own quality time, and can allow for it in my weekly schedule. This means scheduling time for myself, not being hard on myself for relaxing, or having an easy day, or even sleeping in if my body, and the time calls for it. By giving myself the permission to spend time for myself, I am letting myself know that I am a priority in my own life. This small shift has felt like such a powerful act of care and has greatly changed the relationship that I have with myself, and my usefulness for others is an added bonus.  Remember, you are your own best friend, treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love and care about deeply. I hope these are helpful to you in your boundary setting journey! I would love to hear what healthy boundaries you all have been setting lately! Let me know in the comments! xo, Michelle

3 Boundaries I’m Setting For Self-Care

My dear friends,

As you all know, we commonly converse here on the blog about the topic of self-care, and some of the most effective practices we can incorporate into our lives to help us feel more grounded, centered, and at peace. One of my absolute favorite practices of real self-care is setting healthy, aligned boundaries.

For so many of us, the concept of boundary setting is still a tough one to grasp. It is commonly engrained in us to spend our energy solely caring for the people around us, and that is is selfish to place that care back upon ourselves. It’s crucial that we begin to chip away at those beliefs and mistruths, because as we know, when we care for ourselves we are able to show up and care for others in a much more meaningful, impactful way.

It’s also important to remember that setting boundaries is not an act of punishment or something to be viewed negatively. Setting boundaries is the most loving act we can do for ourselves, and for our relationships.

Because I know so many of us struggle to even know where to start in setting boundaries, this week I wanted to share with you three simple, meaningful boundaries that I have been relying on lately that have served me well in my own journey of self-love and self-care.

As always, use these suggestions as a guide map towards discovering boundaries that help you feel empowered and cared for, from the inside out. Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all act, and our needs, wishes, and desires are unique to all of us. Take these boundaries and mold them to suit your life and your needs.

  1. Saying ‘no’ to anything that feels overwhelming, draining, or not in my own best interest. As a recovering people pleaser, I am used to constantly saying ‘yes’ to every invitation or collaboration. While constantly saying ‘yes’ may seem like the kindest answer, if you really mean to say ‘no’ you will start to breed resentment, anger, and regret for the commitments you have made. You are not obligated to say yes to things that aren’t in your best interest and are not a good use of your precious energy and time. Give yourself the permission to say no.
  2. Give yourself time and space to respond and react. I’ve found that there is so much power that comes with pause and reflection. It has commonly been a habit of mine to knee-jerk react and respond quickly to situations and circumstances. This often led to saying things that were out of alignment, or again committing myself to things that weren’t in my best interest. Now, when faced with decisions and invitations, I force myself to take a pause, even if I don’t find it to be truly necessary. I remind myself that I don’t always need to be immediately responsive to the outside world, and I remind myself that, when I take space to connect, I can find the most aligned answers.
  3. Allow yourself the time and space to do the things that bring you the most joy. I used to feel guilty for taking time for myself and doing the things that revive and restore me. I know now,  that I, too, am worthy of my own quality time, and can allow for it in my weekly schedule. This means scheduling time for myself, not being hard on myself for relaxing, or having an easy day, or even sleeping in if my body, and the time calls for it. By giving myself the permission to spend time for myself, I am letting myself know that I am a priority in my own life. This small shift has felt like such a powerful act of care and has greatly changed the relationship that I have with myself, and my usefulness for others is an added bonus.  Remember, you are your own best friend, treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love and care about deeply.

I hope these are helpful to you in your boundary setting journey! I would love to hear what healthy boundaries you all have been setting lately! Let me know in the comments!

xo, Michelle